This is pretty much how the conversation went:
CW: You owe us this. Me: No, we owe you that.
CW: You pay 6%. Me: no we pay 5%.
CW: My records indicate... Me: Well, MY records indicate...
CW: Klq8cdhbaba. Me: Prhy74g!(*&Hhgjunnok/.
CW: Oh no she di'nt. Me: Oh yes she DID!
I must have missed legal contract decoding day at law school, because it was really difficult to determine what we actually owed. Oh wait, I didn't go to law school, so what the hell was I doing trying to figure this out? Anyway, after several hours we came to the agreement that we owed the vendor an additional $9.00 in commission, or about .00003% of the $3,000,000 sales for the year. Really. I'm not kidding.
Feeling half irritated that I had just wasted three hours of my life over $9.00 and half smug that we didn't owe them more, I went back to the office and asked accounting to cut a check for the $9.00. Then I emailed CW to confirm the payment and I sent her all of the backup information and calculations just to be safe.
The next day I got a reply from CW. Basically, it said that our numbers still didn't match exactly for the year, and because she is a "Type-A Personality" she wanted to let me know that the exact amount we owed was not $9.00, but $9.12.
$9.12
$9.12 ?!?
$9 EFFING .12??
Hmmm, I never knew that the "A" in "Type-A Personality" stood for "Asshat". I never gave CW the satisfaction of a reply. Instead, I found out from accounting that they had cut the original check for $9.00 but hadn't mailed it yet, so I took a dime and two pennies from my own purse and gave it to the accountant, who taped them to the check.
My employer can pay me back later.
(Note: I totally stole the word "Asshat" from this awesome blog...)
4 comments:
Hehe...I would have done the same thing putting the .12 like that. Though i think I would have done all pennies...and asshat is a super classy word. I like it a lot!
Um, I needed that .12 to buy my new Mercedes. Since you gave it away, I guess I will have to go without.
That's not right damo. Pretty sure you've owed me twelve cents since you borrowed it from me in 1985 to pay for the Laura Ingalls Wilder action figure. Or maybe it was Mary Ingalls Wilder and her husband Alfonso who worked at the general store.
J Habs - Trust me, if I had 12 pennies on me at the time they would be taped to the check. The accountant wanted to pay the entire $9.12 in change! And, yeah it may not be a classy word, but it's the perfect word to describe this lady.
RT - Um, if you were .12 away from buying a new Mercedes, please tell me where you are hiding the rest of our money!
Little Sister - Don't worry, once I sell the action figure I can pay you back the .12 plus interest! (And I won't even go there that it was ALMONZO and he was a farmer and Mary never married, lol!)
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